Knots And Nooses

You weep at my leaving. 

I rejoice.

I break free from the shackles of years;

you look to the years to forge bonds.

 

You send forth 

links of forget-me-nots, 

cables of gold, 

purls of the homespun sweater —

and I run from the iron claws.

 

You want to know more, learn more.

I want to unsee, overlook, forget.

 

Holding grudges, for me, 

is like holding hands is for you —

simple, effortless, obvious. 

 

Your big heart is your superpower; 

mine, a burden, a chore,

a job to do, a great expectation. 

I clamber to close its chambers. 

 

You open your arteries.

And your love gushes out —

unencumbered, manic, frantic.

 

As my petals close for the night, 

you are waking up, 

searching for a big sun. 

 

You stop to smell the roses; 

I can only smell 

the thorny metal of sweat and scars.

 

I want to be like you —

from afar, very far,

while I hold you close.

 

You're the chain of links.

But me, I prefer chainmail.

 

You are not my grudge.

I can't stop you from your bright eyes.

I can't stop your outstretched arms.

 

But I won't disown my grudges,

as closely held, as I held you —

or hide the metallic, bloody smells 

with floral sprays.

 

I don't want it touching you, though —

this snaking flow of historical debris, 

baggage of mud

of my bad blood.

 

I want to be one 

taking the blows,

so you can breeze about 

in your tranquil daze.

 

I steeled up so you can be 

weak, 

or woke,

or whatever’s in between. 

 

Your kindness justifies my kind.

You're a voice — 

not just your own,

a voice born of silences.

 

I must amplify you 

while you speak, sing — 

your music soothes, 

all melody and harmony. 

 

It even calms my death metal.

Your garden blooms 

even in my metal soil.

 

I am only a vessel.

And when I contain you, 

I don't break.

 

Only, I can't contain you.

I will pour you out.

I try to contain you, 

but you set me free.

 

I need only me.

And maybe you need me,

but the world needs you.

 

With every link you put out,

you unlink one step away.

 

And it's okay.